And of course, all three examples gain nuance through some degree of absorption Gnome hug Cancer in March we wear Orange multiple sclerosis Awareness shirt, transmission, scattering, and reflection—nothing is ever really perfectly reflective, transparent, or opaque. The bad news is there will be plenty of days when you’re just not feeling it. Welcome to being trans. It does NOT mean you’re a fraud or an imposter. Cis society is essentially conversion therapy when you’re trans and however old you are you bene told those years that ‘boys don’t do that’ so much so that you tell yourself it. Realize it’s a part of it. And weather the storm. It will pass. The good news. There’s plenty you can do to feel a little more feminine. A hundreds little touches that each in their own right can make a difference but when added up are transformative.
I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that you already know a bunch of them. Underwear. Makeup. Wigs. Shoes. And more femininely-coded clothing like dresses and skirts. Oh and back to the underwear…you gonna want your big girl panties to start with. I was 48 when I came out as trans and my age almost certainly factors into my DGAF attitude. Indeed on my first day out as myself, despite the minimal makeup, I got fitted at Victoria’s Secret (stay away from La Senza, dear). It definitely takes a lot of guts upfront. But as you’re skills improve, makeup, assembling an outfit, accessorizing, mannerisms, your confidence will grow. You’ll feel more feminine and people will respond to that. It becomes a bit of an upward spiral then. People will start to correctly gender you, which boosts your confidence, and that causes people to read you more as female. I’m always happy to help with practical advice. But I cannot overstate that so much of it is a state of mind. Sometimes that’s confidence and sometimes it’s a pigheadedness, an insistence that you are the woman you know yourself to be. Those around you will respond to that.