Anyhow, although I had missed every single warning sign related to my dad’s mental health diagnosis Baby Yoda drink coffee let me pour you a tall glass of get over it oh and here’s a straw so you can suck it up shirt, I was fortunate enough to recognize the feeling you get when you know something is dangerously wrong. If anyone has a loved one with Schizophrenia, please try to be aware of the signs that come about with their diagnosis and more importantly, if there are signs but they don’t have a diagnosis yet. This is one of my pet hates. Both are completely redundant phrases I believe. When a letter starts “I am writing to inform you” I always think “well that’s rather obvious you are writing since the letter is in my hand”. In my view, it is a lazy way to start a letter. It also wastes your time typing it, and my time reading it. Just start with “I wish to inform you” if you must. Even then there are other imaginative ways to begin a letter depending on the information included.
Well, many people have let me down in my life. Parents who didn’t understand me and blamed me for a rape I experienced at 14, an abusive ex, a pastor who told me my baby died because I didn’t have enough faith, a best friend who had an affair with my spouse, doctors guilty of medical malpractice, a friend who uninvited me to a trip to Ireland because she was afraid I’d slow the group down because of my lupus, even my kids at one point or another (though really, that kind of thing is just kids being kids and struggling to grow up and find themselves!) Honestly, though, I think I have let myself down the most, not by failing at something, but by being so harsh on myself, not loving and forgiving myself, even though it’s always been comparatively easy to love and forgive others. Oh, and for not winning a Nobel by 40. Yes, I’ve had some really unrealistic expectations of myself throughout my lifetime. I didn’t achieve vast wealth based on a stellar career.